Sunday, December 23, 2012

Don't Worry.

To whom it may concern: Please don’t worry yourselves sick about me.

My mother claims it is part of her job as a mother to worry about her children, even knowing full well we can take care of ourselves at a level appropriate for our different ages. So she worries about me as well.

My father worries about me because he doesn’t want me to make mistakes. Not that he made very many at my age, or really at all (joke), but he knows I’m not like him and never will be, so he wants me to be happy with the road I end up taking.

My best friend of about (or more than?) five years worries about me constantly, as I know from her telling me that many times. She’s more like an older sister despite being a year younger than I.

My girlfriend worries about me too, which I didn’t fully realize at all until last night and today. But she worries about things she probably shouldn’t, which is only because she hasn’t known me for five years (or my whole life).

But you know, I worry about people too.

I worry about my parents because they fight often and their arguments rarely have resolutions, and they both know we can’t afford a divorce and things are not bad enough to call for one, but that my mom even mentions it at times is cause for worry.

I worry about my best friend because she has made poor choices in the past and dealt with the consequences, and has also been through a lot of unfair shit that wasn’t her fault at all.

I worry about my girlfriend because I’ve never cared more about anyone ever, and for a lot of reasons about which I don’t feel comfortable writing.

But people shouldn’t worry about me. There are things that merit worry, sure. Worry about my health. Worry about my overall state of mind. Worry about my future. Hell, worry about my present too, if you’d like. Just don’t let it consume you.

But please, don't worry about me because of the way I live my life. If anything, worry about me in spite of it, if you must.

Don't worry about me because I'm not straight, and life is difficult for people who aren't straight. We deal with it the best we can.

Don't worry about me because I have mental problems. I deal with those very well, as evidenced by the fact I am still here and carrying on day-by-day.

Don't worry about me because I don't have much money, or because I don't exactly love my home life, or because I don't have a job, or because I don't have a college degree, or anything like that.

And please, definitely, promise me you won't worry about my present and future because of things in my past. Please.

The world would be a much better place if everyone could just learn that oneself is the most important person in the world.

That’s not to say that you should fix every little thing in your life before you even think about helping others. It certainly doesn’t mean that every person should be completely alone in fighting their many battles.

It just means that if I say I’m okay, I mean I’m okay.

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